


Dear Levi...

by LunaNocturne



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Best Friends, Coma, Comedy, Diary/Journal, F/M, M/M, Not really though, Notebook entries, Romance, Some Rivetra going on here, Unrequited Love, but mostly ereri/rivaere whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 03:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 9,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaNocturne/pseuds/LunaNocturne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is in a coma and Eren comes to visit him everyday. With every visit, Eren writes to him in a notebook for Levi to read when he wakes up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This is just one of the few things that were going on in my head one day and I decided "Hey, lets write this shit". And so, I did. 
> 
> Chapters are goin to be in a letter format, I hope that's cool. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy! I think this is my second fanfic ever, so I'm still kinda new to this woops haha.

Levi and Eren were the best of friends. The two were practically inseperable; one didn't see one without the other. Eren tended to be very clingy, but Levi didn't mind. Levi didn't show it as much as Eren did, but Levi really did care for him. 

 

Levi cared so much that he threw himself in front of a car to save his best friend's life. 

 

Fortunately, Levi had survived the impact, but is currently under a comatose due to a blow to the head. Eren made it very clear to the doctors how much Levi meant to him, so they were more than glad to have him visit everyday to see his sleeping friend. It has been more than a week since the accident and, since Eren is every bit human, Eren was starting to get bored with just sitting around and talking to his unresponsive friend. He loved him to bits and everything, but sitting in silence, save for the incessant beeping of the machines that indicated Levi was alive and Eren telling Levi how his day went, could get boring. 

One day, Eren had an idea. _I could write him notes,_ Eren thought, _kinda like a diary. I could show it to him when he wakes up!_

So the very next day, Eren came in with a moderately-sized, leather bound notebook; he thought its black complexion suited Levi, so he decided he would use that for his little project. With that, he wrote his first entry...


	2. Wednesday April 10th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_How's it going? I'm doing pretty good myself. It's a little lonely not seeing you at school, but I've gotten used to it. Hehe, I don't think I could count how many times people have come up to me to say that it's weird seeing me without you. What could I say, though? We were inseparable._

_Ugh, so we finally had that physics exam you and I were studying for for ages today. Without you, I don't think I would have been able to grasp the concept of projectile motion. All I know is that you throw the thing and then, boom, it lands. I didn't sign up for acceleration, gravity, angles, and shit. Well, now that you're kinda in a coma, I guess I just have to pull through myself, right? I could ask Mikasa, but she doesn't explain it as good as you do._

Eren looked at the note, biting at the end of his pen. He felt satisfied, but he also felt as if it was missing something. Eren wanted the first note to be exciting so that Levi wouldn't find it boring. He pondered about it for a while, then he noticed that visiting hours would soon be over. He thought that making the first entry exciting was no longer worth his time, so he quickly scribbled down the final part of his note. 

_I miss you Levi. I hope you wake up soon._

_Love,_

Eren crosses "Love" out. He may have cared for Levi and all, but he thought "Love" was a bit too much. 

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	3. Thursday April 11th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_How are you? Still asleep, as far as I know, but I do hope you're having a really nice dream. Maybe dreaming about some hot girl, or maybe you got together with Petra. If that's so, I can finally say "In your dreams, Levi" with reason, you anti-social human, you. We all know you can't get together with her because you hang out with me too much to know how to interact with other people, let alone date them._

_Anyway, Jean was being an ass again today. He was telling me that I sucked at basketball during P.E., but I sure proved him wrong. I kicked his ass 8-4, Levi! Aren't you proud? Although, you would've probably murdered him with some ridiculous score like 30-2, or something. I could never be as good as you when it comes to sports. Heck, I don't think I can be as good as you in anything! You're amazing, Levi, and I hope you realize that._

_I miss you, Levi. Please wake up soon so we could kick Jean's ass in P.E. together._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	4. Friday April 12th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_This my third entry! Are you proud of me for sticking around for so long? Three entries may not be a lot, but I think I can actually get pretty into this thing. I'm having lots of fun! Talking to you from time to time is cool, but by writing these down, you can remember what I said! You know how forgetful I can be sometimes. Isn't this useful? I'm very glad I started this; I get a little self-conscious when the nurse hears me talking to you. It might be a normal occurrence to her and all, but I still find it a bit awkward._

_It kinda sucks that we can't play video games until the sun rises together on Fridays anymore. Well, not until you wake up, that is. I got this new fighting game today and I thought of you when I was buying it. You may be good at school and all, but video games is something you will never be able to take away from me. When you wake up, I'm gonna beat you so hard in this game, you won't even see it coming! Although, maybe I'll go easy on you since you might still be a little groggy from the coma._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so we could play video games together again._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	5. Saturday April 13th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_I had a dream about you last night. I ended up sleeping a lot earlier than usual since you weren't there; it was kinda weird, but I guess I have to get used to it. I've heard people in comas can stay asleep for years._

_As I was saying, I dreamt about the night of the accident again. I thought that I would stop having that dream since it's been a while now, but I guess I can never run from the past. I still feel really guilty for the whole thing, really. You didn't have to throw yourself in front of me like that, dammit. You don't deserve to be in the state you are right now; if anyone deserves to sleep like that, it's me. If anything, I think I deserve more than just that; you should have just let me die in that accident. Because of me, you won't be able to go to that school you always wanted to go to, you won't be able to get all those scholarships you worked so hard for, you won't be able to date Petra, you won't be able to_

 

Eren stopped. He felt tears tease the corner of his eyes, his fingers' grasp tightening around the pen. He let out a shuddering breath to calm himself down, collecting himself before he continued the entry. 

 

_You know what I mean. Although, knowing you, you would probably just slap me right up the head and tell me to calm down or tell me it wasn't my fault. I know that, but I still feel bad. I don't think anything in this world could help me get over what I brought you into._

_I miss you, Levi. Please wake up soon so I could give you a lifetime's worth of apologies and make up every second you were asleep for._

_Sincerely,_

_Eren_


	6. Sunday April 14th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_The nurse brought me some crème brûlée that she made today. She was glad that I'm always here to visit you, so she made it for me as thanks. I knew crème brûlée was your favorite, so I gladly accepted it. It was pretty good, but I liked the ones you made a lot better. I hope your dreams consist of crème brûlée too, Levi._

_It kinda sucks that you won't be able to eat decent food for a while. If I could, I would give the whole dessert to you, but unfortunately, I am not able to. Maybe when you wake up, I'll throw you a party with all your favorite foods! You'd like that, right?_

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so we could eat crème brûlée together again._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	7. Monday April 15th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_Marco brought some baguettes to school today. You know how his mom runs a bakery, right? Well, they had a couple extra so he decided he'd give some away to us. Marco told me to tell you that he's got a baguette reserved just for you when you wake up. He gave me one earlier today, too, and I brought it with me to the hospital. The nurse was kinda confused about me bringing a giant slab of bread to your room when I came in, but she didn't seem to mind._

_Marco and some other of our friends decided it'd be a good idea to sword fight with the baguettes, too. It got pretty hectic, Levi, you should've seen it. The principal eventually came over and put a stop to it all, and we all got sent to detention. We may have got in trouble, but it was definitely worth it._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so we could have baguette wars with each other, too._

_Your brother-in-arms,_

_Eren_


	8. Tuesday April 16th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_Petra came in to visit today. She came up to me at school earlier and asked if she could accompany me when I come and visit. Hey Levi, I guess you could say you're in luck; maybe Petra has a thing for you after all._

_You should've seen it. She hung over your bedside, staring longingly at your sleeping face. She asked me if she could touch your face, and I told her it was okay. I hold your hand and move your hair away from your face from time to time, so I thought "Why not?" You'd have probably liked Petra touching you like that anyway, so I did it for you._

_I could've sworn I saw a couple tears sneak its way out of her eyes earlier, man. I asked if she was okay, but when she looked at me, I felt her stare-- well, more like glare-- bore into me. She's probably mad at me for the accident, most likely. If that's the case, then I don't blame her. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself either._

_Petra said "thanks" to me before she left, too. Even if she is mad at me, at least she was nice enough to thank me for letting her see you._

_Not gonna lie, but I felt kinda angry when she came with me to see you. I find the time you and I share in this hospital room to be special, so when someone came in other than me or the eventual nurse, it was a little aggravating. I don't want anyone to take this moment away from us._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so we could hang out together again-- just the two of us._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_

_P.S. It's not like I'm jealous or anything, I just want to protect you from being socially awkward, that's all._


	9. Wednesday April 17th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_Stay out of my dreams, goddammit. If you have special access to the dream world 'cause you're in a coma (First of all, how dare you), I am going to kindly ask you to go bother someone else's dreams._

_I didn't dream about the accident, so that was a good thing. Instead, I dreamt about the time I skipped school so I could nurse you back to health from a cold, then how we eventually found ourselves relaxing under the cherry blossom trees at the park. I remember you didn't get any better that day, but I made you worse instead. I also remember that being the day where you and I told each other who we liked. You seemed hesitant, but you told me you liked Petra, and I told you I liked Mikasa._

_Well, I'd like to tell you now that I no longer have feelings for Mikasa. She's cool and all, but I see her more as a sister now than anything else, really. So, if you're interested in winning my heart, I'm open._

 

Eren draws a winking face beside his statement. 

 

_I'm kidding. It'd be kinda weird if you fell in love with me seeing that we're best friends and supposedly nothing more. I can't imagine the two of us sitting alone in my room making out in the dark or doing all those couple-y things._

_... Except for that one time, but we were just bored and curious, okay?_

_Anyway, that's just weird. It's not like it's weird for two guys to be doing that kind of thing, but you know what I mean! We're best friends, Levi. I don't know if I can imagine us as anything more._

_Crap, now it got awkward. If you're worried about me not loving you, I still love you. Only as a friend, though._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so we could hang out under the cherry blossom trees and tell each other who we liked again._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	10. Thursday April 18th, 2013?

_Dear Levi,_

_I love you._

_Sincerely,_

_Petra_


	11. Thursday April 18th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_So Petra came with me to visit you again. I take it you saw her note; I guess she wrote in it while I was out in the bathroom earlier. I kinda just leave the notebook at your bedside table anyway, so I'm not surprised that someone finally got to it. I thought that its leather demeanor could give it a mysterious, "keep-out", feel to it, too._

_She's a nice girl and all, but she had no right to go through someone's notes like that. This was supposed to be our thing, and no one else's._

_... Fortunately, being the good person that I am, I am going to respect this notebook and not tear that note out. I'm only doing this because:_

_1) It'd make the notebook messy, and I know how you like to keep things neat._

_2) I wrote something on the back of that page, so there was no way I was tearing it out anyway._

_Besides, I'm pretty sure you'd be pretty happy if you read that. You're so sneaky, Levi, you're winning girls over even in your sleep._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so you could teach me how to flawlessly pick up girls._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_

_P.S. I'm still not jealous, okay, I just don't like it when people look through my-- our-- stuff._


	12. Friday April 19th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_I made it pretty clear to Petra that I don't want anyone else touching this notebook during school today; she quickly understood and said that she was "sorry". I apologize if that doesn't satisfy you, but I made this for your eyes and my eyes only._

_Even if she can't write in this notebook, I still told her she could visit. I hope you don't mind having another visitor other than me. Pfft, of course you would; I know you get irritated when I stick around you for too long._

_Anyway! On a slightly brighter note, since you won't be able to play video games with me at my place on Fridays for the time being, I brought one of my handhelds here to your room! I'm playing a simple, one-player, RPG today because I'd feel bad playing a multiplayer without you._

_I named the main character after you, too. I thought that maybe if I gave him your name you'd be living the game in your dreams, or something. Aren't I weird?_

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so you could tell me if that video game phenomena of mine worked out._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	13. Saturday April 20th, 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 420 blaze it

_Dear Levi,_

_I didn't get far in that game I started yesterday. I think naming the main character after you was a big mistake; I couldn't sleep last night, since you were all that I could think about. It was just "Levi this" and "Levi that"; it was impossible for me not to think of you._

_My mom told me to bring some flowers I picked from the garden to replace the old ones sitting on your bedside table. I brought you lilies today, too; their white color really suits your hobby of making sure everything is clean. They smell really nice, too, so it really covers up the sterilized scent of the hospital... And the smell of pot that managed to stick to my clothes on my way here. I hope that you don't smell that while you're asleep._

_God, I really, really miss you, Levi. I hope by the time you wake up, the lilies I picked for you won't have wilted yet._

_Always thinking about you,_

_Eren_


	14. Sunday April 21st, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_I cried last night because I was thinking about how much I missed you. I can't help it; missing your best friend is a normal occurrence especially if you haven't heard their voice in what seems like an eternity._

_I wonder what you're dreaming about right now. I hope that you're also dreaming about me, Levi, or else I'll feel bad because I've been dreaming about you a lot._

_I miss you so much, Levi. Please... Please wake up._

_Sincerely,_

_Eren_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, from now on, I'll be doing some time skips. I just did it like this for now to show you guys the type of entries Eren writes. From now till the next chapter, no one would have written in the notebook other than Eren. What Eren talks about during the time between now and the time skip is up to your imagination.


	15. Thursday May 16th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_So exams are coming up soon. You're really lucky that you get to skip out on them, you know that? Man, I'd kill to switch places with you right now..._

_Well, I'm not going to kill, but if we were to switch places right now, I wouldn't mind. I should be the one sleeping on that bed of yours, anyway. You deserve to be taking those final exams, not me, and I'm not saying that because I want to skip out. I wish you'd just wake up so you and I could study for the exams together._

_I miss you, Levi. Please wake up so you could help me out with physics again._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I'll start putting the entry numbers on the summaries
> 
> Edit: woops I got the date wrong


	16. Friday May 31st, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_We saw a dance show during school today. It was consisted of a bunch of third and fourth year students, so they were pretty good. I didn't really like the story they used for it this time; it was too cliche. Not like any of the other dance shows they've had were cliche, but this one really takes the cake._

_Why am I even talking to you about this? You don't even like dancing. Maybe it's because you and I would've been there watching it together only because a number of our friends were part of the production. Mikasa played the lead character this time, too, so I was quite impressed. The only reason why I was even slightly interested in the whole thing was because Mikasa was playing a big part._

_Oh, I forgot to mention that I've been hanging out with Armin a lot lately. You know how I would ask Mikasa for help when it comes to my studies? Well, it turns out Armin's actually really smart and he's been helping me out a whole bunch. Watch out, Levi, I think you've got a rival when it comes to your studies._

_Although, nothing could compare to how much fun I have whenever you're the one helping me with my homework._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so I could introduce you to Armin and criticize dance shows together with you, okay?_

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually using my school calendar from last year for this hhhhAH. 
> 
> I hope that you guys are enjoying this so far, I was actually really glad to see the comments and all the kudos. 
> 
> Thank you so much!


	17. Tuesday June 11th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_We had our graduation rehearsal today. It was long, boring, and humid so I'm sure you could tell how much fun I had. To add on to the piling amount of excitement, since my last name is "Yeager", they didn't call me up until at least two hours into the rehearsal. It was horrible!_

_Also, they didn't call your name during the "handing of diplomas". I guess it's just their way of saying that you won't be graduating with the rest of us and that you'd probably have to repeat your senior year. I wish you didn't have to, because you deserve every right to graduate along with the rest of us._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so you could at least be there for me when I graduate. Without you, I don't think I could have ever gotten this far in school. If you don't wake up, then... I know you'll be there in spirit._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	18. Friday June 14th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_Exams are happening next week, and I'm a nervous wreck. Fortunately, Armin, Mikasa, and I agreed to study together throughout this entire weekend to help prepare ourselves for the oncoming storm. I know I've never missed a day since you were admitted into the hospital, but I hope you don't mind if I skip out on a few days._

 

Eren looks over to Levi's sleeping figure, his chest slowly rising and falling in a rhythmic manner. He gripped the sides of the notebook, his chest tightening at the thought of leaving his friend for a couple of days. What if Levi woke up while he was gone? What if Levi's condition suddenly worsened? Eren bites his lower lip at the thought, then placing the tip of his pen back on the paper to continue his entry. 

 

_Of course you don't mind. You know how clingy I can get to you, and you've told me a number of times to give you some time to yourself. All those times I've been too stubborn to follow your wishes, but since you're under a comatose state due to my stupidity, I think it's time for me to finally respect what you want and... Give you some time to yourself. It'll only be for a couple of days, so I won't be gone for that long. When we finish our exams, I'll come right back, okay?_

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so you can scold me about how stubborn I can get._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, up until now, Eren hasn't had a day in which he hasn't visited Levi in the hospital.   
> He is a dedicated boy.


	19. ???day ??? ???st/th, ????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is dreaming.

[Levi]

_Eren..._

_Eren, where are you?_

_I can hear your voice, but I can't see you. I hear you wherever I go, but whenever I turn I'm never able to see where the voice is coming from._

_I want to see you._

 

It was the night of Eren's birthday; Saturday March 30th, 2013.

Levi turns around. He sees Eren standing playfully on the middle of the street, hands behind his neck as he smiled at Levi, gesturing him to follow. Levi's feet move by themselves toward his friend, but a blinding light suddenly protrudes itself from the side of his vision. 

The driver is out of control; he's heading full speed ahead towards Eren, but Eren has yet to notice. 

Eren is going to die. 

Levi bolts towards him, pushing him aside, away from the oncoming disaster, making him land hard against the concrete. 

Levi is hit and the world goes black. 

 

_Eren..._

_Where are you?_

_I miss you..._

_I love you._


	20. Saturday June 22nd, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Eren's perspective...

[Eren]

_Dear Levi,_

_I'm back! And guess what?_

_Exams are over! Aren't you happy for me? I'm pretty sure I did well on them due to all that extensive studying with Armin and Mikasa. I'm so tired, I wish I could just lie down, sleep, and not wake up for a week. Fortunately, once graduation week is done and over with, I could sleep all I want without having to worry about school!_

_Ah, speaking of worry, I forgot to mention._

_Yesterday, after the last exam of finals week, Mikasa came up and confessed to me. I haven't told anyone else about it yet, except you. You see that, Levi? Don't you feel privileged to be the first to know?_

_Anyway, I haven't given her an answer yet. It just came to be such a surprise that I didn't know what to say. I told her that I would give her an answer on Monday, since I told her I wanted some time to think._

_Honestly, Levi, I don't know what to think. I told you I no longer had feelings for her, and I'm quite sure I still don't, but... Gah, I don't even know anymore. I kinda liked what we had-- nothing more than friends._

_Now I'm just rambling about my problems. I'm sorry for making you read all this, but what do you think? You're always there for me when I need help, anyway. Tonight, I'll be sure to think about how you would help me with my situation._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so you could give helpful advice on life again._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HhhhhhhhhhhhHhh--
> 
> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments! I am actually really, really glad that all of you are somehow enjoying this angst-fest of a fic. And hot damn, 1000 hits I'm just--
> 
> I hope you guys keep reading till the end, and thank you so much again!!!!


	21. Sunday June 23rd, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_I've made my decision. I stayed up really late last night thinking about it, but I know I've come to a conclusion._

_I'm going to turn Mikasa down. I know I might seem a little cruel, but it's how I truly feel. The only feelings I have toward her is that of a best friend or as a sister, nothing more. Another reason why I'm rejecting her is that... Well..._

_I think I like someone else._

_It's only "I think", though! I'm not yet too sure about how I feel about this person, but, right now, I'm pretty sure I think of this person as more of a friend than anything else. The thing is, I'm not too sure if it'll settle we'll between us. To tell you the truth, I'm actually kind of afraid that this person won't like me back, which is why I'm a little hesitant._

_I wish you were awake so you could tell me your opinion on this whole thing..._

_I miss you, Levi. Please... Wake up soon. Maybe when you wake up, we can meet up under the cherry blossom trees and tell each who we liked, like last time. Maybe then you could tell me how stupid or how good of a decision I made about all this._

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_


	22. Monday June 24th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_So I gave Mikasa my answer. She took it pretty well, and I'm glad it hasn't changed our current relationship. I also told her about my liking of someone else, and the only thing she told me about it is "If this person makes you cry, I'll kill them."_

_Well... This person has technically already made me cry. Let's just hope Mikasa doesn't find out. I wouldn't want this person dying on me, especially if they haven't heard me tell them that I loved them in a romantic sense yet._

_Oh, have I said too much?_

_Hehe, I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so I could tell you who I like in person, okay?_

_Your bro-for-life,_

_Eren_

 

Eren closed the notebook and settled it on top of the bedside table where it usually sat waiting for him when he arrives to visit. He turns his attention to Levi; he's noticed that his hair has grown longer. Eren gets up slightly from his chair to lean in closer to the sleeping figure, moving the hair that found itself resting on top of his forehead away from his face. Eren let his fingers linger against his skin, relieved to feel that Levi was still warm. 

"Levi..." Eren whispered. With his other hand, he reaches down to Levi's hand that rested on his side that was closer to him and held tight within his own. He leans his head down so as to make their foreheads touch, his eyes fluttering to a close. He has touched Levi while he slept like this before, but something about this moment felt slightly different from all the other experiences, Eren thought. He felt his face grow hot at how close their faces were to each other and noticed how fast his heart started beating when their foreheads touched. Eren pulled away slightly, his face still inches away from Levi's own. He stared at Levi's lips, they were dry, chapped, and pale due to the lack of attention and proper hydration. He stared at Levi's eyes, his eyelashes were long and Eren could have sworn that Levi was a girl if it weren't for him knowing Levi for nearly his entire life. He chuckled at the thought then let his fingers run across Levi's pale cheek; his skin still felt soft, Eren noticed. Eren's eyes fall on his lips again, wondering what it would feel like if he pressed his lips against Levi's right now...

No, this is wrong, Eren thought. Taking advantage of someone while they're asleep? That's just absurd. What if Levi didn't want it? What if he didn't like it? As far as Eren knew, Levi still liked Petra. And what if Levi woke up because of it?

_...What if Levi woke up because of it?_

It was a chance he was willing to take. He's read stories in which an affectionate action, such as a kiss, given to someone in a deep sleeping state, they'd wake up! If Disney has taught Eren anything, he knows that a kiss would be able to wake up his sleeping princess... Prince. 

He looked towards the door, making sure that no doctor or nurse is making their way towards the room at the current moment. He checked Levi's IV drip; it was still full and didn't need to be replaced for another couple hours or so. Alright, Eren thought, the coast is clear. 

He stared at Levi's sleeping face again, his chapped lips slightly parted as he let out calm, and constant breaths. He adjusted his position above him so as to make sure that when he leans in for the kiss, it'll be a direct hit. Eren's grip around Levi's hand tightens, his heart beating fast at about what he's about to do. 

He took a couple of deep breaths before leaning in to press his lips against Levi's for a chaste kiss. What Eren thought before was true, Levi's lips _were_ chapped, but it somehow felt soft underneath his own. After what seemed like hours, Eren finally pulls away and stares at Levi once more, looking for any sign of his awakening on his face. 

... Nothing. Eren sighs and sits back down on his chair, his hand still holding onto the hand that rested next to Levi. It didn't work, Eren thought, so much for fairy tales. 

At that moment, as Eren was about to let go of Levi's hand, he felt a twitch of movement underneath his fingers. Eren stopped in his tracks. Did Levi just move? Instead of pulling away, his grasp tightened around Levi's hand, and Eren eagerly leaned in closer to Levi's face, desperately searching for any signs that may indicate he was waking up. 

... Nothing. Though it may be nothing, Levi still responded, and that enough was able make Eren the happiest man alive. He smiled softly at his friend then leaned in to place a small kiss on Levi's forehead. From there, he whispered:

"I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so I could tell you I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna make this two separate chapters, but then I was like "what the hell". 
> 
> Thank you so much again for all the comments and kudos, oh wow, you have no idea how flabbergasted I am right now. I'm so happy I just--  
> //cries happily


	23. Thursday June 27th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_I did it, Levi. I was able to pull through an entire four years of high school and I was finally able to graduate from all that. In all honesty, I don't think I could have done it without you. You played a really big part in my life, and if if weren't for you always helping me out, I don't think I would have been able to survive until this day._

_Thank you, Levi. If it weren't for you during the night of my birthday, I probably wouldn't even be here right now. I would probably be six feet under ground, but I'm not; instead, I'm sitting here right next to you, thanking you with my entire being._

_Thank you, Levi. I owe you my life._

_Tomorrow is the prom night. I don't think I'm going; I feel it to be wrong going there without you, you know? I kinda wanted the two of us to go together and enjoy our final night as high school students with each other, but since you're asleep, I don't think that'll be happening._

_Knowing you, you'd probably tell me to go anyway and have a good time, but knowing me, I'm probably not gonna listen and be the stubborn person I usually am._

_Maybe I'll bring my speakers here tomorrow and come in wearing my suit. I could have my prom here with you, Levi! I may not be able to dance with you, but that's fine; it'll just be like usual. I can hold your hand as the music drowns out my thoughts. I won't play anything too loud, maybe something soft, like the ones they'd play during slow dances, you know?_

_Oh man, now I'm getting all excited. I'm doing this for you Levi, and there's nothing that you can do to stop me. (No joke intended)_

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so we can dance together, okay?_

_Your bro-for-life,_

Eren stopped. Writing "your bro-for-life" now, especially when he'd technically already confessed his feelings for Levi, would seem weird. He crosses out those words and writes below it:

_Love,_

_Eren_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren's a dork, and I love him.


	24. Friday June 28th, 2013

Eren wasn't joking in his last entry when he told Levi that he would bring the prom to him. He arrived to the hospital dressed in his suit that donned a white rose corsage on his breast pocket. Eren carried with him his backpack which held his music device and speakers along with a number of his other belongings. As he made his way to the room, nurses were giving him looks, commenting to each other how handsome he looked and who he might have been visiting. The nurse who often tended to Levi saw Eren and complimented him on his outfit, causing Eren to blush and stutter out his words of thanks. 

He entered the room and set his belongings down by the bedside table, opening his bag to set his speakers on its surface. He turned the device on and let a soft melody spill through the speakers that drowned out the incessant beeping of the machines with a sort of grace. 

Eren grabbed the notebook that often sat on the bedside table and a pen from his backpack before writing his daily entry to Levi.

_Dear Levi,_

_I wasn't joking when I said I was bringing the prom to you._

_I was determined to spend the last night I have as a high school student with you, and there was nothing in this world that could have stopped me. Mikasa and Armin tried, but, as you can see here, their labour bore no fruits._

_I'm playing a soft song in the background in respect of where I'm doing this right now. I wouldn't want to play anything too loud in a hospital, would I? Besides, I think a softer song sounds more romantic, anyway._

_Yes, romantic, because you know what? I was planning on writing an individual entry about it, but I feel as if now is as good a time as any._

 

Eren took a deep breath, glancing over Levi's sleeping figure before writing his next sentence. 

 

_Levi, I'm in love with you._

_I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about a person in my entire life. These feelings for you... I may have realized them sometime after the accident. The fact that you were gone from my everyday life sucked, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was afraid I was going to lose you if anything went wrong; I don't think I've cried for anyone like this since Hannes passed away, but I hope you understand how I feel._

_I want to hug you, kiss you, hold you, make love to you and do all those things lovers do because I love you and I miss you, and I just..._

_Please wake up soon. I don't think I can handle another day without seeing you outside of this state anymore._

_Always thinking about you,_

_Eren_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, sorry for the late update!
> 
> I literally had to rewrite this chapter a couple times before I was satisfied with it. I'm still not, but it was better than my last attempts. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos and hits and holy crap, I didn't think it'd get this much??? I am speechless. I'm not even that good of a writer—
> 
> Anyway, thanks again and I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Tah tah for now!
> 
> Edit:  
> Hi, my name is Luna, and I have horrible memory. I changed "mom" to "Hannes" because I forgot his mom is still alive here... Sorry!


	25. Saturday June 29th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_I know it may seem a little awkward now seeing that I confessed to you via entry, but that doesn't mean my feelings for you aren't real._

_Truth be told, I actually confessed to you a couple days ago... You didn't hear 'cause you were sleeping of course, but I did and I kinda kissed you to see if you woke up, but... Yeah. You did respond, though! Somehow... Your hand twitched a little, and if it was possible for my heart to have stopped right at that moment, I wouldn't even be writing this right now._

_I'm sorry for kissing you without your permission, too. It was wrong of me and I shouldn't have done so. There's still a chance that you might not even like me back, but I guess I won't really find out until you wake up, right?_

_Well... Anyway, on a brighter note, Mikasa called me last night when I got home and she was totally smashed. It was so funny, Levi, I don't think I ever laughed so hard in forever. I just really wanted to tell you that, is all. It was funny and I felt that you should know!_

_Don't tell her I told you that, though, okay?_

_I miss you, Levi. Please wake up soon so I could tell you more about drunk Mikasa and maybe... Go out on a date together or something._

_Love,_

_Eren_


	26. Tuesday July 2nd, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_Guess what? Mikasa, Armin, and I plan on going on a camping trip together soon! We're gonna sleep inside a tent, start a campfire, eat s'mores, tell scary stories, and everything! It'll be in a couple weeks, but I'm really excited nonetheless._

_But that also means that I won't be able to visit you for quite some time._

_I hope you don't mind my going away again, Levi. I promise I'll be back! Maybe I could bring you a souvenir. Would that help satiate your anger for me?_

_It kinda sucks that you won't be able to go camping with us. It'd be really cool if you woke up before the trip, though. Talk about timing! Then you could be able to do all those things people do in camps with us._

_You and I could sleep in the same tent and snuggle up to each other if it gets too cold at night. Only if you don't mind, that is! I wouldn't want to force something you probably wouldn't enjoy on you like that. If you don't, then being able to share such an experience with you would be more than enough to make me happy._

_I miss you, Levi. Please wake up soon so we can go camping together soon, okay?_

_Love,_

_Eren_


	27. Wednesday July 24th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are camping...

"Don't you think you've been hanging with Levi a bit too much?"

Eren looked over to Mikasa from across the campfire, puzzled; how could she have said that? Eren knew that she knew, of all people, how close he was with Levi. What could she have meant by bringing it up?

"Is there something wrong?" Eren asked, smiling sheepishly as if to disregard his uneasy feeling. Things weren't going to end well, he knew that for a fact. 

"Oh, it's nothing," Mikasa began, "it's just that you've been spending all your time with a vegetable lately, and—!" Eren cut her off. 

"Levi's not a vegetable!" He exclaimed, "Besides, I've been spending equally enough time with you guys than I do with Levi. Why are you bringing it up all of a sudden?"

Mikasa made an unamused expression, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried her best not to look like she was glaring at Eren. She let out a sigh, preparing herself for the outcome to what she's about to say. "I'm trying to say that you should leave him alone for a while. He's been asleep for a few months now, and I don't think he'll be waking up anytime soon; you should accept that and let him recover."

Eren paused. Mikasa was right; the probability of Levi waking up in the next couple of weeks as opposed to him waking up in the next couple of years is extremely unlikely. He opened his mouth to say something, but failed to say anything. He would've argued against Mikasa, but he knew that arguing wasn't going to get them anywhere. Eren looked down, his gaze casting over to the fallen ashes of the campfire that spread across the perimeter of the burning vicinity. 

Armin made a noise, clearing his throat to break the tension that found its way in their comfortable circle of warmth. The two looked up to Armin, his arms raising defensively on instinct as he felt their expecting gazes bore into him. "I think Eren should do what he thinks is right," he began. "I know how much Levi means to Eren, and I think having to force him to stop visiting Levi just because he won't be waking up anytime soon is kind of unfair. Eren should be given the right to choose what is wrong and what is right."

Mikasa and Eren continued to stare at their friend. He had a point, they had to admit. Mikasa pursed her lips at the remark whereas Eren decided to respond with a stupidly bright smile that ended up looking too stupid for his liking. 

"Thanks, Armin." Eren said, his expression softening to that of a warm smile. 

Armin replied with a smile of his own, not needing to say anything to show Eren how much he cared. 

Mikasa sighed in defeat. "Fine," she began, "if that's done and over with, we should continue on with the task at hand. Armin, you said you had a couple of scary stories you wanted to share with us earlier?"

Armin lit up, his expression showing that of sudden realization. "Oh, that's right! Are you guys still interested in hearing them? It's kinda dark, you know. You might not be able to sleep tonight." He smirked playfully at the two; Eren responded to said smirk with a confident 'hmph'.

"The dark doesn't scare me at all!" Eren responded, "C'mon, Armin, give us the scariest story you've got. I doubt that something so measly could scare me so easily."

"Eren..." Mikasa chided gently. 

"Well, since you're so confident," Armin cleared his throat. "So I was talking to a friend of mine one time, right? He was out camping with a bunch of his friends and..."

 

\---

 

As Mikasa and Armin slept soundly tucked in their warm sleeping bags within their tent, Eren found himself wide awake whilst clutching tightly at the edge of his covers. Surely enough, Eren was the only one that stayed awake that entire night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Again, I appreciate every single comment and every single kudos and I still can't believe so many people are reading this. *sobs*
> 
> I hope that you'll all read this to its end! I'm so glad many of you like it, and I can't thank all of you enough!


	28. Sunday July 28th, 2013

_Dear Levi..._

_Guess who's back from camping?_

_Aw man, Levi, it was so much fun! We went swimming in the lake, went hiking, climbed some trees, huddled by the fire, ate s'mores, told scary stories... Jeez, Levi, you should've been there. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life!_

_Man, did you know how scary Armin could get? It's crazy. He told us this one scary story about a friend of his that went camping too, and, god, I didn't get any sleep that night. I was so scared, I was too afraid to go to the bathroom by myself. I would have huddled closer to Mikasa that night, but she would never have let me live it down._

_Levi, when you wake up, you_ must _go camping with us. If Armin tells us another scary story, at least I'll have someone to cuddle next to when I'm scared, right?_

_Haha, just kidding. I'm not gonna pussy out on some stupid scary story again. I'll be there to cuddle you if you get scared instead, alright?_

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so we can all go camping together; this time, it'll be a whole lot funner with you along._

_Love,_

_Eren_


	29. Tuesday August 5th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_So I've been thinking about getting a job soon. I need to save up some money for post secondary and maybe help mom out with all the bills._

_That means my time with you would be cut down by a lot._

_This isn't the first time this has happened to us, of course, and I'm sure you're used to it by now, but it still kills me inside when I'm not able to see you on a regular basis; I often worry about you, you know. What if your condition suddenly worsens while I'm not around? What there was some sort of terrorist attack in the hospital and they took all the patients hostage?_

_God, it scares me just thinking about it. The second one may seem a little farfetched, but the first one is a lot more likely to happen. I know they'd probably contact your family if that were to happen, then me, but... I just really want to be here for you, no matter what._

_Knowing you, you'd probably tell me to focus more on the future rather than the present, right? Maybe for once I'll respect your opinion because at least, in the future, you'll be there, too._

_I'm still getting the job; with dad gone, finances are getting a little difficult so I want to be there to help mom. If I have some extra saved up, I could take you out to dinner or something._

_Heh, that doesn't sound like too bad of an idea, actually._

_I miss you, Levi. Wake up soon so I could take you out on a date after my first paycheck (Highly improbable, but I can still dream, right?)._

_Love,_

_Eren_


	30. Wednesday August 28th, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_Guess you're not the only one I'll be visiting in the hospital today._

_Mom collapsed yesterday and she's currently been admitted to this hospital for a bit so the doctors can run some tests. When I came home to find her unconscious on the ground after coming back from visiting you, I felt as if my heart could have legitimately stopped._

_She's doing fine at the moment, and it looks like she'll be able to come home soon; I'm afraid of what the tests will say though, but I hope it's nothing too serious._

_I'm scared, Levi; what if mom's really sick? She's the only family I have left that I actually care for. If she dies, I don't know what I'll do..._

_I'm sorry, I'm jumping to conclusions again, aren't I? She seems to be doing fine, so nothing should be wrong with her, right?_

_... Right?_

_I'm going to have to end this entry here. I want to be with you and all, but my mom's pretty important, too. I told her that I would be dropping by to your room for a bit, so I wouldn't want to keep her waiting._

_I'll talk to you later, Levi. I'll tell mom you said 'hi'._

_Love,_

_Eren_


	31. Saturday August 31st, 2013

_Dear Levi,_

_My mom._

_Leukemia._

_Less than a year._

_I don't know what to say... Levi, I'm scared; there's so much going through my mind because of all this and I have absolutely no idea on what to do._

_Levi, I... I need to take care of mom. Our relatives live too far to come help, so I have no choice but to take this upon myself._

_I've been thinking about this long and hard, and..._

_I'm sorry, Levi, but for the time being, our time together must come to an end._

_I'll be back one day! I don't know when, but I'll be back for sure. It might be a while, but I hope you don't miss me too much; it'd kill me inside if you do. I hope you understand._

_It may be a little selfish of me, but... Would it be okay if you don't wake up until I come back? I'll probably be so busy with mom, that I probably won't have the time to take care of the both of you at the same time, haha._

_Just kidding. If you do wake up, I'll make it so that I'll be able to take care of both you and mom without too much trouble; I've been told I was pretty reliable, so it should be a piece of cake._

_I love you, Levi._

_I'm going now, so I'll see you soon; I'll be back, so wait for me until then._

_I love you._

 

Eren stopped. He looked down onto the three words he had already written twice, but can't help but feel incomplete. Eren decides to write them again. 

 

_I love you._  
I love you.  
I love you.  
I love you.  
I love you. 

 

Eren smiles lightly at the entry. He hoped that by writing them multiple times would help get his message across to Levi's sleeping state. Eren writes them down once again, just in case. 

 

_I love you._  
I love you.  
I love you. 

_I miss you.  
I love you._

_Love,_

_Eren_

 

Satisfied, Eren closes the notebook and settles it on the bedside table. He stands up from his chair to approach Levi, brushing his hair away from his face to press his lips softly against his forehead. 

"I'll see you soon, Levi," Eren whispered. "I'll be back, so sleep well, okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!
> 
> I guess I'd just like to say that I'll actually be ending this soon, but since I liked writing this so much, there's going to be a sequel ha ha ha //killed  
> Of course, it'll be a surprise about what the sequel will focus on. 
> 
> Thanks again for the comments and kudos, and I hope you all look forward to the future of this fic! Thank you all!!!


	32. Thursday December 19th, 2013

"You haven't been visiting Levi in a while, haven't you?"

Eren looked up from the sink, his mother resting her chin against her palms on the dining table. Carla gave him a worried look, a light shade of pink spreading across Eren's cheeks. 

"N-Now why would you ask that, mom?" Eren replied shakily, returning his attention to the dishes that needed cleaning. 

"Nothing, really," Carla began. "I'm just worried that your taking care of me is cutting in to your time with your friend." Eren felt a sense of déjà vu at her remark, but quickly shakes the feeling off. 

"Don't worry about it," said Eren as he finished off the last of the dishes, flashing his mother a smile. "Levi's not going anywhere anytime soon; besides, he's got his parents and other friends visiting him from time to time, too, you know?" He wipes his hands on the apron he wore, that belonged to his mother's, before walking up to sit next to Carla, placing a hand over his mother's. "Right now, the person who needs me the most is you. I've told Levi that I'll be with you for the time being, and I'm sure he's fine with it."

Carla puffed her cheeks and pinched at her son's, eliciting a yelp from the disgruntled boy. She loved her son, and all, and was more than grateful for him for always being there for her, but Carla knew Eren needed a break, even if it was just for a day. Eren had been overworking himself with a number of jobs to help pay the bills with his mother now jobless, and Carla could already see the consequences of his labor. Eren's hand felt rough and calloused over her own and dark circles plagued the underside of Eren's eyes. Carla wished that Eren would just at least learn to take care of himself, too, without having to worry so much about her well being. She pulled her hand away from his cheek and smiles at him wryly. 

"Eren," she began, "I know you're doing your best, but you need to know how to be a little selfish sometimes." Carla took her son's hand in both of her own and caressed them gently, afraid that he would break under too much force. "On your next day off, I want you to spend its entirety with Levi."

Eren looked at her, eyes wide. "But my next day of is Christmas! I don't want to leave you alone, especially if it's possibly your..." Eren looked away, not wanting to continue his statement. Carla understood immediately and stroked his hand comfortingly once more. She chuckled under he breath. 

"If you're that worried, then you can come back once you're done. I don't expect you to be home earlier than seven."

"Mom!"

"Hush, Eren! What I say, goes. Besides, isn't it Levi's birthday that day, too?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"No 'but's'! You're going and that's final."

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but failed to do so. He lowered his head to the table in defeat, letting out a defeated groan. His mother chuckled once again and ruffled his hair. 

"If you're so worried about me, don't be," she smiled. "I may be bald, and I may get tired a bit more easily than before, but I'm still Carla Yeager! I'm not letting something like this take me down so easily." 

Eren looked up at her words, a pout teasing at the corners of his lips. 

"Don't be like that," said his mother. "I'll be _fine_. If you're so worried, I can call a friend of mine to keep me company, or something if it'll help you feel better. Does that sound good to you?"

Eren frowned. "N-Not really..."

Carla let out an annoyed grunt. "Jeez! Fine, if I need your help I won't hesitate to call, alright? I've got your cellphone on speed dial, so, if need be, I'll call you as quickly as I can."

Eren furrowed his eyebrows, still not totally satisfied, but slowly coming to terms with it seeing how determined his mother is. He's forgotten how spunky his mom could get. "... Promise?"

"Promise," she repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Life's been kinda hectic with school and cosplay and asdfghjklahdosksaghhhhhhh 
> 
> Anyway, I'll try updating as soon as I get some free time! Sorry for the short and late update, but I still hope you guys'll stick with it till the end!  
> >


	33. Wednesday December 25th, 2013

Eren enters the white room once again with Levi's sleeping figure still laying on the clean white covers of his hospital bed. Eren laughs quietly to himself, amused and somewhat disappointed by the fact that Levi looks just as he did when Eren last saw him all those months ago, save for slightly longer hair. After having been gone so long, he thought at least something would have changed. 

Eren was beginning to think that maybe Levi would never wake up. Almost an entire year has passed and Levi's condition looked as if it had reached a stand-still. Eren feels a rush of guilt run through him, the feelings he harbored shortly after the accident gradually returning to settle within his aching heart. 

Eren takes upon his seat by his friend once more, taking the notebook and letting the continuous beeping of machines drown out his thoughts as he begins his entry. 

 

_Dear Levi,_

_It's been a while. I guess it just kind of make sense that I come visit you for your birthday, right? I hope you forgive me for taking too long._

_Looks like your condition hasn't really changed since I last came here. I can't say I'm shocked; however, it wasn't as if I didn't expect this. I'm not saying that I've lost all hope, though! I've just finally come to the realization that the chances of your waking up by tomorrow is, well... Not likely. I want to believe, but it's hard._

 

Eren looked at the entry. _Shit,_ he thought. _That didn't turn out as good as I thought it would have._ He contemplated scratching it out with his pen or applying correction tape to the sentence, but he knew Levi would notice it and complain about his lack of neatness in writing, nevertheless the writing beneath the mess. 

Eren let out a sigh and left the paragraph as it was. 

 

_  
Sorry, I wasn't supposed to write that. I guess I'm a little stressed out. Please ignore that entire paragraph._

_Anyway, I've been working multiple jobs lately. Those bills aren't going to pay themselves, especially with an unemployed mother._

_I guess that would explain why I've been so stressed out lately._

_Sorry, but I don't think I'm in the greatest of moods to be writing at the moment. It sucks, too, since it's also your birthday, not to mention Christmas. I don't want to get too angsty on you, especially when this notebook was supposed to be something a lot more...enjoyable. I wouldn't want you worrying about me when you wake up._

 

That is _if_ you wake up, Eren thought. He sighs once more. 

 

_I'll see you around, Levi. Wake up soon, okay? You can take your time, if you need to; I just hope that you don't take too long, haha!_

_Love,_

_Eren_

 

Eren closed the notebook and settled it on the bedside table, the pen nestling on top of the leather cover. He turns his attention over to Levi, placing his hand over Levi's and holds it gently within his own. He leans in and carefully raises Levi's arm so as to gently kiss at his friend's withered hand. 

"Please wake up soon," he whispers over the dry flesh. "Just... Don't leave me." His grip tightens and Eren can feel tears flowing out of the corner of his eyes. "I don't know what... I don't know what I would do if you never came back."

He lowers Levi's arm back to the bed, but keeps his hand tightly wound in the other. Eren looks at Levi with tear stained cheeks, his other hand reaching over to brush Levi's growing hair away from his sleeping face. 

"I'll be waiting, Levi. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait. No matter how painful it is, I'll wait. Take as long as you need to, because I'll always be waiting." Eren retracts his hand from Levi's face and wipes at his tears, chuckling quietly. "I love you, Levi. If this isn't love I'm feeling for you right now, then--"

 

_riiiing riiiing_

 

Eren felt something vibrate in the pocket of his pants. It took Eren a couple of rings to finally realize that the vibrating mechanism was his phone. Not wanting to disturb the silence, he quickly grabs the phone and answers, his voice still slightly shaky. "Hello?"

"Eren?" The voice questioned. The voice belonged to a woman, Eren concluded. She sounded as if she was in a hurry. "Hello, is this Eren?"

"Yes," he replied. "Who is this?"

"I'm a friend of your mother's; she called me up earlier to keep her company-- Ah, that's not the point right now!"

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"It's your mother. She..."

With that, Eren dropped everything and bolted out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I actually just recently graduated, along with finals before all that schnazz, life's been a bit hectic. 
> 
> Thanks again for sticking around despite these irregular updates-- I hope you all stick for the end! And sorry to all those who thought Levi would wake up in this chapter-- I have something else in mind, hehe. Also, some of the comments have really, really motivated me to keep writing this and they all made me so happy and emotional and sheesh I didn't know this story had that effect on people //sobs
> 
> Thank you all so much again, and I'll see you all soon!


End file.
